
Affirming Words
The heart of the wise teacheth his mouth, and addeth learning
to his lips. Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the
soul, and health to the bones.
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Proverbs 16:23-24
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Recently, I heard a touching story which illustrates the power
that words have to change a life -- a power that lies right in the
hands of those reading this article. Mary had grown up knowing
that she was different from the other kids, and she hated it. She
was born with a cleft palate and had to bear the jokes and stares
of cruel children who teased her non-stop about her misshaped
lip, crooked nose, and garbled speech. With all the teasing,
Mary grew up hating the fact that she was "different". She was
convinced that no one, outside her family, could ever love her ...
until she entered Mrs. Leonard's class.
Mrs. Leonard had a warm smile, a round face, and shiny brown
hair. While everyone in her class liked her, Mary came to love
Mrs. Leonard. In the 1950's, it was common for teachers to give
their children an annual hearing test. However, in Mary's case,
in addition to her cleft palate, she was barely able to hear out of
one ear. Determined not to let the other children have another
"difference" to point out, she would cheat on the test each year.
The "whisper test" was given by having a child walk to the
classroom door, turn sideways, close one ear with a finger, and
then repeat something which the teacher whispered. Mary turned
her bad ear towards her teacher and pretended to cover her
good ear. She knew that teachers would often say things like,
"The sky is blue," or "What color are your shoes?" But not on
that day. Surely, God put seven words in Mrs. Leonard's mouth
that changed Mary's life forever. When the "Whisper test" came,
Mary heard the words: "I wish you were my little girl."
Dads, I wish there was some way that I could communicate to
you the incredible blessing which affirming words impart to
children. I wish, too, that you could sit in my office, when I counsel, and hear the terrible damage that individuals received from
not hearing affirming words--particularly affirming words from a
father. While words from a godly teacher can melt a heart, words
from a father can powerfully set the course of a life.
If affirming words were something rarely spoken in your home
growing up, let me give you some tips on words and phrases
that can brighten your own child's eyes and life. These words
are easy to say to any child who comes into your life. I'm proud
of you, Way to go, Bingo ... you did it, Magnificent, I knew you
could do it, What a good helper, You're very special to me, I
trust you, What a treasure, Hurray for you, Beautiful work, You're
a real trooper, Well done, That's so creative, You make my day,
You're a joy, Give me a big hug, You're such a good listener,
You figured it out, I love you, You're so responsible, You remembered, You're the best, You sure tried hard, I've got to hand it to
you, I couldn't be prouder of you, You light up my day, I'm praying
for you, You're wonderful, I'm behind you, You're so kind to your (brother/sister),
You're God's special gift, I'm here for you.
John Trent, Ph.D.
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Vice President of Today's Family, Men of Action,
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Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise
brings healing.
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Proverbs 12:18 NIV
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