SHMILY
My grandparents were married for over half a century, and played their
own special game from the time they had met each other. The goal of their
game was to write the word "shmily" in a surprise place for the other to
find. They took turns leaving "shmily" around the house, and as soon as
one of them discovered it, it was their turn to hide it once more.
They dragged "shmily" with their fingers through the sugar and flour
containers to await whoever was preparing the next meal. They smeared it
in the dew on the windows overlooking the patio where my grandma always
fed us warm, homemade pudding with blue food coloring. "Shmily"was written
in the steam left on the mirror after a hot shower, where it would reappear
bath after bath. At one point, my grandmother even unrolled an entire roll
of toilet paper to leave "shmily" on the very last sheet. There was no
end to the places "shmily" would pop up. Little notes with "shmily" scribbled
hurriedly were found on dashboards and car seats, or taped to steering
wheels. The notes were stuffed inside shoes and left under pillows. "Shmily"
was written in the dust upon the mantel and traced in the ashes of the
fireplace. This mysterious word was as much a part of my grandparents'
house as the furniture.
It took me a long time before I was able to fully appreciate my grandparents'
game. Skepticism has kept me from believing in true love-one that is pure
and enduring. However, I never doubted my grandparents' relationship. They
had love down pat. It was more than their flirtatious little games; it
was a way of life. Their relationship was based on a devotion and passionate
affection which not everyone is lucky experience.
Grandma and Grandpa held hands every chance they could. They stole kisses
as they bumped into each other in their tiny kitchen. They finished each
other's sentences and shared the daily crossword puzzle and word jumble.
My grandma whispered to me about how cute my grandpa was, how handsome
and old he had grown to be. She claimed that she really knew "how to pick
'em."Before every meal they bowed their heads and gave thanks, marveling
at their blessings: a wonderful family, good fortune, and each other.
But there was a dark cloud in my grandparents' life: my grandmother
had breast cancer. The disease had first appeared ten years earlier. As
always, Grandpa was with her every step of the way. He comforted her in
their yellow room, painted that way so that she could always be surrounded
by sunshine, even when she was too sick to go outside.
Now the cancer was again attacking her body. With the help of a cane
and my grandfather's steady hand, they went to church every morning. But
my grandmother grew steadily weaker until, finally, she could not leave
the house anymore. For a while, Grandpa would go to church alone, praying
to God to watch over his wife. Then one day, what we all dreaded finally
happened.Grandma was gone.
"Shmily." It was scrawled in yellow on the pink ribbons of my grandmother's
funeral bouquet. As the crowd thinned and the last mourners turned to leave,
my aunts, uncles, cousins and other family members came forward and gathered
around Grandma one last time. Grandpa stepped up to my grandmother's casket
and, taking a shaky breath, he began to sing to her. Through his tears
and grief, the song came, a deep and throaty lullaby.Shaking with my own
sorrow, I will never forget that moment. For I knew that, although I couldn't
begin to fathom the depth of their love, I had been privileged to witness
its unmatched beauty.
S-h-m-i-l-y: See How Much I Love You.