2. Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle;

3. Occasionally you'd bring up a window that was covered with a Hefty bag;

4. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-ight" or "Naw";

5. Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be Dueling Banjos;

6. The "Recycle Bin" in Winders '95 would be an outhouse; 

7. Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player you'd hear a digitized drunk redneck yelling "Freebird!";

8. Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders '95 theme song would be Achy-Breaky Heart;

9. PowerPoint would be named "ParPawnt";

10. Microsoft's programming tools would be "Vishul Basic" and "Vishul C++";

11. Winders 95 logo would incorporate Confederate Flag;

12. Microsoft Word would be just that: one word;

13. New Shutdown WAV: "Y'all come back now!";

14. Instead of VP, Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz";

15. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am;

16. Microsoft Office replaced with Micr'sawft Henhouse;

17. Four words: Daisy Dukes Screen Saver;

18. Well, the first thing you know, old Bill's a billionaire;

19. Speadsheet software would include examples to inventory dead cars in your front yard;

20. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor pull Simulator;

21. Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates;

22. Redman plug'n'play interface;

23. They could still use Ky-row as code name for next upgrade, but Albenny would be the one after that;

24. Screen saver would be a kudzu vine which would consume your program manager;

25. Instructions for use would include "mash the control key.";

26. The HQ building will be a double wide on cinder blocks, because MICROSOFT is hyear to stay.