If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic.
Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along
shortly.
Don't try to help them, just stay out of their
way. This is what they live for.
Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait
in the same store....Don't buy food at this store.
Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is
plural, and "all y'all's" is plural possessive.
Get used to hearing "You ain't from 'round here,
are ya?"
You may hear a Southerner say "Ought!" to a dog
or child. This is short for "Y'all ought not do that!"
and is the equivalent of saying "No!"
Don't be worried at not understanding what people
are saying. They can't understand you either.
The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted
Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol,"
as in "big'ol truck or "big'ol boy". Most
Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way.
All of them are in denial about it.
The proper pronunciation you learned in school
is no longer proper.
Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid
defense here.
If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all,
watch this," you should stay out of the way.
These are likely to be the last words he'll ever
say.
If there is the prediction of the slightest chance
of even the smallest accumulation of snow,
your presence is required at the local grocery
store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not.
You just have to go there.
When you come up on a person driving 15 mph down
the middle of the road, remember that most folks learn to drive
on a John Deere, and that is the proper speed
and position for that vehicle.
Do not be surprised to find that many 10-year-olds
own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen,
and their mammas taught them how to aim.
In the South, we have found that the best way
to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.
If you do settle in the South and bear children,
don't think we will accept them as Southerners.
After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven,
we wouldn't call 'em biscuits!
Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Georgia.
There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Georgia, plus
a couple no one has seen before.
If it grows, it sticks. If it crawls, it bites! .
It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.
"Fixinto" is one word (I'm fixinto go to the store).
Sweet Tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when
you're 2 years old.
"Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
