How Strong Is Your Jealousy?

This is a 3-part test. It gives you an idea of the kinds of jealousy you might experience as well as how strong that jealousy is.  Think about the person you are married to or romantically involved with (your "significant other"); if you aren't involved right now think about your most recent relationship.





Score the following questions on a scale of 1 to 7.
1.........2..........3.........4..........5..........6...........7
never------------------sometimes--------------all the time


Part 1: How often do you have the following thoughts about your "significant other"?

1 2 3 4 5 6 7
I suspect that my s.o. is secretly seeing someone else.
I am worried that someone may be chasing after my s.o..
I suspect that my s.o. may be attracted to someone else.
I suspect that my s.o. may be physically intimate with another person behind my back.
I think that some people may be romantically interested in my s.o..
I am worried that someone is trying to seduce my s.o..
I think that my s.o. is secretly developing an intimate relationship with someone else.
I suspect that my s.o. is crazy about men/ women.


Part 2: How often do you engage in the following behavior?

1 2 3 4 5 6 7
I look through my s.o.'s drawers, handbag, or pockets.
I call my s.o. unexpectedly just to see if s/he is there.
I question my s.o. about previous or present romantic relationships.
I say something nasty about another person if my s.o. shows an interest in that person.
I question my s.o. about his/her telephone calls.
I question my s.o. about his or her whereabouts.
I join in whenever I see my s.o. talking to someone who could be considered a romantic option.
I pay my s.o. a surprise visit just to see who is with him /her.


Score the following questions on a scale of 1 to 7.
1......... 2.........3......... 4......... 5......... 6......... 7
Very pleased----------------neither-----------------very upset


Part 3: How would you emotionally react to the following situations?
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
17. My s.o. comments to me on how great looking a particular person is.
18. My s.o. shows a great deal of interest or excitement in talking to someone new.
19. My s.o. smiles in a very friendly manner at someone else.
20. Someone else is trying to get close to my s.o. all the time.
21. My s.o. is flirting with someone else.
22. Someone is dating my s.o.
23. My s.o. hugs and kisses someone else.
24. My s.o. works very closely with someone else who could be a romantic candidate (in school or at work).




Your total score: Overall, the higher your score, the more jealous you tend to be.

Below 89 You feel secure and trusting in your relationship.

90-109 You feel fairly secure and trusting in your relationship.

110-132 You are prone to jealousy, but it doesn't get in the way too often.

133-Over You are feeling pretty jealous. Think about the basis of your feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. Has your partner given you a reason to be jealous? If so, you may want to work on this with your partner. If not, are there any strategies that you can find to curb your jealousy?

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Whether your total jealousy score is high or low, you will want to examine your jealousy subscores-this is a feature most jealousy tests don't have. It turns out that some kinds of jealousy are better than other kinds of jealousy. Each subscore measures a particular kind of jealousy (jealous thoughts, jealous behaviors, and jealous feelings).




Subscore1 - Jealousy Thoughts Score (questions 1 - 8)

Subscore2 - Jealousy Behavior Score (questions 9 - 16)

Subscore3 -  Jealousy Feelings Score (questions 17 - 24)



Indeed, in romantic relationships, jealousy isn't always associated with problems. If your Subscore 3 is high, but Subscores 1 and 2 are low, then your jealousy is not a problem, unless, of course, your feelings of jealousy bother your mate.


The second set of questions is about how people express their jealousy through their actions. Thus, if your Subscore 2 is high, then you may be doing things that are going to produce problems between you and your mate. Generally, higher scores on jealous behaviors were not associated with love at all.


Subscore 1, regarding jealous thoughts, is also "negatively" associated with love. That is, studies find that the higher Subscore 1 was for research subjects, the lower was their love score.



Are You Tuned In? - When it comes to reading signs of a relationship, are you clued in or clueless?