1. You invite him to your best friend's wedding. He:
Not only helps buy
the gift but uses the word 'register'.
Agrees, but spends
most of the time annoying the bride.
Agrees, but spends
most of the time flirting with the bride. |
2. The night the two of you have front-row tickets to
a concert you come down with the flu. He:
Drops off some chicken
soup, then takes his sister to the show.
Says, "Hope I don't
catch it," then disappears pronto.
Gives the tickets to
a friend and comes to your place to nurse you. |
3. Your 12 year-old-cat Humbug dies. Your man:
Waits a few weeks,
then takes you to the local animal shelter to find a replacement.
Brings you flowers
and a framed picture of Humbug.
Presents you with Humbug,
newly stuffed, complete with glass eyes. |
4. An old boyfriend shows up unexpectedly on your doorstep.
Your man:
Invites him in.
Puts him in a headlock.
Leaves the two of you
alone for a long-awaited reunion. |
5. It's been days since he's called. You:
Start hanging round
in the places he frequents. He should know better than to avoid you.
Call when you know
he's not home and leave a message on his answering machine.
Call him and invite
him to dinner - you're not one to play waiting games. |
6. At a party, a friend holds up a camera, points it
at the two of you and says, "Cheese." He:
Snuggles close and
smiles.
Awkwardly puts his
arm around your neck and grins.
Says, "Uh, excuse me,
honey - you're in the way." |
7. While he's away on a business trip, you:
Get a good-night call
from him every night.
Never hear from him.
Discover a message
from him on your answering machine that says, "I miss you." |
8. His love notes generally commence with:
"Hey Mama."
"My darling."
"Insert name here." |
9. During a heated sex session, you blurt out, "I love
you!" He:
Pretends he hasn't
heard.
Replies, "That's nice"
Says, "I love you too" |
10. Your parents are in town and you invite him to join
the three of you for dinner. He:
Says, "Why go out?"
and makes his famous lasagna for everybody.
Says he can't make
it, but shows up for dessert.
Remembers that he
has to leave town. |
11. While the two of you are taking a walk in the park
you pass a couple strolling with their new baby. He:
Suddenly rushes off
to stock up on condoms.
Says nothing, but
takes your hand and holds on tight.
Seems very disappointed
when the baby is being bottle-fed. |
12. His pet name for you is:
"Sweetheart"
"Babe"
"Hoochie Coochie" |
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